Letters to Morey 6 - Pete

How are you going Morey?

Pete Comaine here.

Long time no see.

You would not believe it.

There I was last week in a pub in Alice Springs and in walks Wazza.

I said “Fuck me dead! It’s Wazza!

He was reeking of cheap rum and was banging on about how you gave some politician $35 and he accidently won the election so you rocked up to his election night piss up at midnight pissed out of your fucking mind and told him that all you ask for your $35 is not to get in bed with the Julia.

This bloke is apparently a simpleton and thought you meant (get in bed with Julia).

Next thing you know is you have politicians, rock musicians and terrorists seeking your advice.

Thing is Morey, I am in a bit of a bind myself.

I am fast running out of places to hide otherwise I wouldn’t be in Alice fucking Springs!

Wazza says he called into Osama Bin Laden’s cave for a chat.

Wazza reckons Osama is not a bad sort of bloke really.

He told me of this plan you and Osama have of using Nugent as a fucking training camp.

I could join you cunts in blowing things up – I like blowing things up.

Also no cunt will know where I am.

By the way is it alright if we have a photo of you, me and Osama on this fucking tractor of yours.

I will give it to Fran – she will love it!

I heard how the Americans installed a tracking device on top of the Marine Board Building and Osama had to send one of the brothers in dressed up as a plumber to fuck with it.

Wazza reckons they still can’t fix it but they might so you blokes are going to blow the fucker up along with every cunt in it.

Can we blow up Empress Towers as well?

What about that shithole Magnet Court?

And the Silos too?

I’ll be back in Tassie soon and I’ll meet you in the Pembroke for a swift one on the way to Nugent.

Pete