Sunday, October 30, 2011

The Famous 5, the Secret 7 & the Communist 10. [Part1]

The Famous Five have the sort of adventures most people dream about, in a world where ginger beer flows and ham rolls are a staple diet.




Dick, Lassie, Slim, Boris and Bazza enjoy making up stories, trying to arrest any sort of development, going without a wash and getting together for a naked frolic in the woods with the Secret Seven.



The Secret Seven are a secret society who hold regular meetings and organise things to do, whether it's throwing a spanner in the works to halt development or just having fun playing hard core extremists in the woods.

The Seven have a secret password, a badge, and a secret headquarters in a garden shed.

The Seven are a jolly lot and are led by Bob and his sister Christine, and their friends Pegg, Helen, Bill. Philip and Maddy.

They all ride their bicycles to school all the while ringing their bells and blowing bubble gum.
Just as Bob and Christine are very close in the Secret Seven, Dick and Lassie are very close in the Famous Five.


Too close according to Slim who has suspicions they are playing hide the sausage.


Slim feels cheated and rightly so!

The Famous Five entered into a partnership with the Communist Ten to take charge of the woods.


Slim should have been given a Chalice in the new pact.


But Dick gave the Chalice to Lassie and Slim has been plotting and scheming ever since.


The Communist Ten have lost almost half their friends over the partnership agreement.


It has been a disaster from the word go!


The Communist Ten were dishonest about their relationship.


They tried to pretend everyone was suddenly friends.


They were warned they should be honest but took no heed!


Bob and Christine from the Secret Seven regularly had to take Dick aside and spank his bottom at their secret headquarters in the garden shed in front of all the others.


The others thought this was quite jolly and the spankings were usually followed by a naked frolic in the woods!



Bob and Christine had to show they were boss and when Lassie was caught by the police riding her bike naked and without a license they both gave Lassie a proper spanking.


Slim was beside himself with glee and hoped Dick would be forced to give him the Chalice.


Alas this was not to be and Slim and resentment grew closer and closer.


Things were getting worse all around.


The Secret Seven were losing their friend base.


The Communist Ten were so badly split it would take decades to recover.


The Famous Five’s credibility was at an all time low.


So low Lassie was forced to defend their record in Lindsay’s school mag!


to be continued ...

Friday, October 28, 2011

The Secret Seven and the Sandy Bay Bike Lane Debacle

The Secret Seven are a secret society who hold regular meetings and organise things to do, whether it's throwing a spanner in the works to halt development or just having fun playing hard core extremists in the woods.
The Seven have a secret password, a badge, and a secret headquarters in a garden shed.

The Seven are a jolly lot and are led by Bob and his sister Christine, and their friends Pegg, Helen, Bill. Philip and Maddy.

They all ride their bicycles to school all the while ringing their bells and blowing bubble gum.

The Seven have their meetings at their headquarters in the garden shed.

Bob enforces the rules and delegates tasks for the members.

The Seven investigate imagined corruption, block any sort of progress, peddle propaganda, take the high moral ground and, most importantly, frolic naked in the woods.

The Seven embrace all sorts of weird and wonderful things like wind turbines that don't generate any power.

The weirdest of all though was The Seven's plan to build a bike lane from Sandy Bay to Taroona. Bob and Christine have developed a smashing idea but they want their involvement kept secret it has the potential to blow up in their face.

They invite Pegg around to the garden shed for a very secret meeting.

They ask Pegg to get the others to build a bike lane from Sandy Bay to Taroona.

Pegg duly carried out Bob and Christine's orders.

Helen, Bill, Philip and young Madeleine drew plans up for a bike lane.

They trick young Madeleine into getting the plans printed in the school newsletter.

Helen, Bill and Philip do not want the blame if things go wrong.

After drinking some orangeade and taking the biscuit tin with them, they wander around in the woods where they are somewhat taken aback to find Bob, Christine and Pegg having a naked frolic!

Although somewhat disturbed at first, the rest of the Seven all removed their clothes with reckless abandon and joined in the naked frolic in the woods.

Pegg and Christine were passing around lentils and patchouli oil while Bob rode Bill around the woods, laughing all the while.

“What a jolly time we are having!” said Phil.

The Secret Seven and the Sandy Bay to Taroona Bike Lane Adventure safe in the knowledge that Lindsay would dutifully publish the bike lane plans in the school newsletter, their stomachs full of lentils and reeking of patchouli oil the Seven all got forty winks.

They dreamed of riding their bikes around in Salamanca Place, throwing Frisbees and watching nuns smiling at four year olds playing the violin near a fountain.

The Seven’s salad days, however, were soon to come to an end.

The woods were soon alive with the sounds of police car sirens, an angry mob and chainsaws.

The Vice Squad, the Drug Squad and Special Branch were climbing over each other to get at The Secret Seven.

Bike Lines Indeed!